curiosity is contagious

“Amber Rae is a real-life Wonder Woman.”
— Mind Body Green

 
 
 
 
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I'm Amber Rae—an author, artist, and speaker who encourages emotional wellness and personal growth.

My work explores how to free ourselves from the stories that stifle our potential, and what it takes to live as our truest, most courageous selves.

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I'm the bestselling author of Choose Wonder Over Worry.

Blending raw-and-relatable stories with actionable strategies, it’s a guide to face your fears and create a life that reflects who you truly are.

Deepak Chopra called it a map to "unfold your infinite potential" and Bustle said it's "the one advice book you should read — even if you don't like self-help."

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I empower audiences to unlock their true potential.

Called “relatable, awe-inspiring, and a breath of fresh air,” I give talks and host workshops that engage audiences and inspire change.

Whether presenting on stage to thousands or hosting a group in an intimate setting, together we'll create a space of curiosity, vulnerability, and transformation.

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Daily Inspo

WHOLENESS is embracing all of it: the mess, the magic, the joy, the pain, the imperfection, the beauty. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Wholeness is what I see as the driving WHY for my work: to guide us beyond our shame and abandonment of the self into full love and acceptance. Acceptance of our cracks, edges, and imperfections. All of it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s the space and place where there’s no more hiding; only embracing. 🙏🏼❤️ #decodingthefeels
My book, “Choose Wonder Over Worry,” completes the journey with WHOLENESS. An except from the book: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Growing up without my father led me searching to fill the hole of him, without ever knowing there was a hole to fill. I tried to stuff accomplishments and wine and the love and approval of other men into that hole because I thought that by doing so, the hole would go away. But it didn’t go away; it only increased in size. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That hole, I learned quite painfully, would never be filled by anyone or anything outside of me. Not in my relationships with men, not in how I looked and appeared to others, not in empty bottles of wine, not in what I could or could not accomplish. It was when I came to the terms with the heartbreaking fact that I would never find my father, and I would never fill his void, that I began the journey home to myself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That void of him is part of me, and the work was not to deny it, but to embrace it. It was to look at the void, and say: Thank you, void. Thank you for your confusion and your pain and your gaping hole in my heart. Thank you, gaping hole in my heart, for sending me on an all-consuming quest for love and approval outside of me. Thank you for being a part of me. Thank you for thrusting me into the realization that love is not out there, it is *in me.* ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It was when I learned to stop seeing every interaction through the lens of “Do you love and approve of me?” and instead through the lens of “Do I love and approve of me?”, that I learned to climb out of the hole I was so accustomed to digging myself into. And when I climbed out of that hole, I found what I had always ached to feel but never knew I was looking for: wholeness. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Wholeness didn’t come through denying any part of myself, or trying to heal my cracks. It came through taking all the parts of myself that I was rejecting, and saying: I see you. I love you. I accept you. You’re safe here. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for being here. I will carry you home.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ — My book “Choose Wonder Over Worry” is available everywhere books are sold. Head to the link in my profile to get yours! ❤️
My favorite way to start the week with clarity and intention? Prompts, of course. 🤩 Here are a few reflections to make the most of your week. 😘 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Tip: try with a partner, friend, colleague, or team to add depth and accountability. 🙌🏼
Feeling a bit overwhelmed? I was too. I made and checked this off and felt muuuuuch better. Hope it serves you, too! Xo
The trick to moving through a hard conversation? Cultivating comfort in discomfort. Staying rather than escaping. Breathing rather than fleeing. Responding rather than reacting. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Who can relate to these stages? 💁🏻‍♀️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #allthefeels #decodingthefeels
I’ve been trying new things lately with poetry/songwriting and singing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I’ve NEVER EVER let anyone hear my singing voice. It’s the one thing that has me feel SO INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE for one tiny/big reason: I’m afraid of sucking at it. And yet, it’s also something I feel deeply drawn toward exploring. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ (Maybe you have something like that too?!) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Last night, @farhadini overheard me singing a few lines, and I felt like crawling under a rock with embarrassment when he poked in the room and said, “Oooh, do that again.” 🙈 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I keep thinking BUT-WHAT-IF-I-AM-TERRIBLE / FAIL / SUCKKK. Well, of course, then I’m just learning, right?! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I was telling a friend (@tonybgoode ❤️) about my singing fears the other day, and he said to me, “What if an aspiring writer came to you and said that she wanted to write a book but was afraid to write the first sentence because it might not be good enough?” 😂 Being a writer for as long as I can remember, I know it can take MANY shitty sentences to get to a good one. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As I explore my comfort zone in new ways this week, I’m reminding myself that I gotta be bad to get better—and “failure” is learning in disguise. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Also: No promises I will sing for you anytime soon 😂, but I will keep practicing those notes 🥰🎶 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What are you focused on practicing? #choosewonderoverworry
Our culture orients around PUSH. It’s outcome and future-focused, and all about efforting to make things happen. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I once thought I needed to follow suit to succeed. So I pushed and pushed until I exhausted and lost touch with myself, and made myself sick. Cultivating more PULL has made a world of difference in my life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Where PUSH is “this is the outcome I want and I won’t stop until I get there,” PULL is “this is the vision I’m wholeheartedly committed to and pulled by. I wonder what will emerge by showing up for it every day.” PUSH always jumps to “what’s next,” whereas PULL is intent on “what’s now.” PUSH believe things won’t happen unless we do them; PULL believes making things that bring us joy can be a gravitational pull for things to happen on their own. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Push is not passive. It’s very active. Instead of focusing outwardly on efforting to make things happen, it’s focused internally on aligning with a vision and creating things that serve it. In turn, this magnetizes opportunities. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sharing my truth online has been a living, breathing example of this for me. Over the last decade, I’ve consistently shared my ideas, inspirations, and illustrations. The unexpected outcomes? Getting to know myself and what I value. Meeting my love. Finding kindred besties. Career paths I couldn’t have predicted. Book deals. Meaningful collaborations. And so much joy.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What about you? How might you cultivate more PULL in your every day?! Xo
Anyone else trying to do all the things and please all the people?🙋🏻‍♀️🙈 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Noticing this yesterday, I judged myself thinking, “You’ve worked through this already. Why is this coming up for you again?! WTH?” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I gently reminded myself this is a new season with new learnings, and sometimes I will step back to step forward. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The nudges above helped me longingly shift my attention and intention, so I wanted to share in case we’re riding similar waves. 🌊🏄🏻‍♀️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Here’s to a powerful month of honoring what’s true.❤️
Helllllo, Friday. Helllllo beautiful moment to pause and check-in. Here are a few of my fav prompts 😘 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ P.s. My love and I walked through these together last night, and it felt like a burst of clarity, connection, celebration and release. I highly recommend answering in a journal or with a love, a friend, a business partner, or even a team to create a space of support, trust, and accountability. ❤️❤️❤️
SETTING BOUNDARIES, Part II ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Knowing your boundaries is having awareness around what is and is not okay for you. Setting boundaries is having the courage to love yourself and respect your values, even at the risk of disappointing others. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This graph is a helpful tool for identifying your negotiables and non-negotiables. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Negotiable boundaries are soft guidelines that are open for discussion. These preferences won’t have you leave a situation or relationship for your well-being, but they are points to have honest conversations and create agreements around. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you swipe right, you’ll see a few examples of negotiables in my relationship with @farhadini. You’ll notice “home base” listed. I’m a nature girl at heart, for example, but live in Brooklyn because it was important for Farhad and also my career. We made this agreement knowing that nature is where our future home will be. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Non-negotiable boundaries are NOT open for discussion or change. It’s a dealbreaker in a relationship because it would have you live outside your values. (This can apply to a partner, a family member, a friend, a colleague, or a work environment.) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In the example, I list “vitality,” which for me is making your whole self and health a priority. This means I’m unwilling to be in partnership with someone who puts themselves in situations that could compromise their health. For example, overwork and undernourishment, which tbh, I recently had a *very* serious conversation with Farhad about in advance of our wedding. I also list “personal responsibility,” which means a commitment to personal growth, self-awareness, and taking ownership for mistakes. That’s a must. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Boundaries go beyond romantic relationships as well. I’ve quit jobs and left industries because it didn’t align with my moral compass. I’ve also had very difficult and uncomfy conversations with a family member because of a pattern of destructive behaviors that I was unwilling to enable and have impact my well-being. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What about you? What are the negotiables and non-negotiables for you?
Ever ask yourself, “Should I post this?!” Here’s a compass. 🧭 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Tiny story: Last year, I had a love / hate relationship with social media, constantly felt behind, and felt pressure to “keep up” with Instagram for the sake of my brand. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It felt exhausting and uninspiring. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I took the month of December to re-evaluate why I use Instagram and what I want to use it for, and in January, I made a vow. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I’m not going to share posts with the intent of them “making it” (getting likes and attention) and instead I’m going to devote myself to *the process* of making art that guides me inward and expresses my truth. Any time I feel behind or like I need to post to “keep up,” I’m going to pause and gently remind myself that I won’t be on my death bed thinking, “I should have posted on Instagram more!” 😂 Instead, I’ll reconnect to my WHY, and create from that place. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ That tiny shift in attention from looking outward to tuning inward changed my whole relationship with this platform. Not only am I excited every day to wake up and ask myself, “What am I feeling? What do I have to say? What wants to come through me today?”, but I’m giddy that I get to share what emerges with all of you. Instagram now feels like a playground of self-expression and collective expansion, versus a never-ending void to fill. ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Here’s to using this platform to speak up, share our truths, connect our hearts, and have our expressions be seen and heard. ❤️
✨ INTRODUCING THE ENERGY MATRIX ✨ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ So many of have asked questions about priorities and how to best invest your energy and time, so I put on my thinking and feeling hat (over one glass of 🍷😂), and made this. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ One of the challenges of using the question “Does this bring me joy?” to make decisions is that it doesn’t often consider what we do in the short-term that pays off in the long-term. For example, raising kids, showing up for a partner, or following through with a project every day—even though what it’s becoming is still unknown—is where DEVOTION comes in. It’s what we value and commit to wholeheartedly, even when we don’t always want to. (Though on a good day, it may feel like we “get to.”) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ For your personalization and joy, I created a fill-in template (swipe right). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ P.s. If you want a deeper dive into clarifying what to say “yes” and “no” to, and how to invest your time and energy wisely, get a copy of my book “Choose Wonder Over Worry.” It’s at the link in my bio. 😘 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Xoxo