curiosity is contagious

“A Millennial Motivator.”
— Fortune

 
 
 
 
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I'm Amber Rae—an author, artist, and speaker who encourages self-discovery and personal growth.

My work explores how to free ourselves from the stories that stifle our potential, and what it takes to live as our truest, most authentic selves.

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I'm the bestselling author of Choose Wonder Over Worry.

Blending raw-and-relatable stories with actionable aha! moments, it’s a guide to face your fears, navigate the feels and create a life that reflects who you truly are.

Deepak Chopra called it a map to "unfold your infinite potential" and Bustle said it's "the one advice book you should read — even if you don't like self-help."

BUY NOW
 
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I empower audiences to unlock their true potential.

Called “relatable, awe-inspiring, and a breath of fresh air,” I give talks and host workshops that engage audiences and inspire growth.

Whether presenting on stage to thousands or hosting a group in an intimate setting, together we'll create a space of curiosity, vulnerability, and transformation.

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Let's Stay In Touch

 
 
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Daily Inspo

Why do you do what you do? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The incredible @bradmontague recently shared with me that “sometimes we do things FOR love or FOR satisfaction when we could be doing things FROM love or FROM a deep satisfaction.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ His words grabbed me, and now I think about this concept all the time—so of course I had to draw it. 😍 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Am I operating FOR joy, or FROM deep joy? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Am I doing this FOR MORE (e.g. impact, reach, etc.) or FROM MORE (e.g. self-worth and knowing I’m already enough)? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Am I being motivated FOR POWER, or am I acting FROM POWER? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Whenever I feel stuck or out of flow in my creative process, I often find that my motivation is out of alignment with what I truly value. When I recalibrate and reorient my focus, I return to flow. 🌊 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What is motivating you? ✨
✨Not all feedback is created equal ✨ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ My girl Vienna at @mindfulmft posted about this topic recently, and it grabbed my heart strings. In her words, “Yes, a lot of what others say and do is a reflection of their own inner worlds. Yes, a lot of the time it has nothing to do with us. Our job is to become healthy filtration systems. Here’s the work: we give ourselves space to see if there is indeed something for us to look at and explore for ourselves, and space to see if it’s actually not about us and then move on from it.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I love this distinction because sometimes people are being kind and generous, and give feedback (or “feedforward”) to illuminate blindspots they see so we can elevate and grow. That’s a GIFT. But other times? Someone might be projecting their unresolved stuff onto us, which is not ours to take on. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Filter wisely, fam. ✨
Fam! Thank you for all your messages and notes about Debbie Doubter and the post I shared on Sunday. I was hesitant to let myself be seen in that way because 1) it felt very scary and 2) another part of me (I call her Grace the perfectionist 😂) fears judgement like one fears death. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Many of you shared how you can relate, or how me putting my experience into words gave language for what you’re also going through, and that filled me with so much joy and life. It reminded me that when I share my truths and messes, and bring you into my inner world, it creates more connection, depth, and belonging—not less. (Grace is so relieved.) 🙏🏼🥰✨
Vulnerable share 🙈: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I recently had a *profound* realization about my relationship fears. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Since Farhad and I got married, there’s been a part of me that’s been one foot in, one foot out. I call that part “Debbie Doubter.” Debbie looks for things that are wrong and aren’t working. She loves to nitpick and assume the worst. She’s not very skilled at looking for things to celebrate that *are* working. The wise me knows this is all protection. Debbie is afraid of being hurt, and she’s scared of abandonment. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When I was talking to a dear friend about this realization, she asked if Debbie’s fear is along the lines of “let’s ruin this before he walks away.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Not quite,” I said. “It’s — let’s ruin this before he dies.” And then I instantly burst into healing tears. (This is a humbling reminder for as much as I think I’ve healed the loss of my dad as a child, it’s a journey.) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Suddenly I imagined the adult version of Debbie morph into a small, afraid child. I imagined myself hugging her, and I told her that she’s safe now, and I will never leave her. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ My whole body relaxed, and Debbie released her protective grip. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I then asked Debbie, “Do you think it’s possible to jump in with both feet? Do you think we can go all in on loving Farhad, even if we can’t predict the day it might end?” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ With wide eyes and a vulnerable heart, she nodded and said, “I’m in.” 👯‍♀️👫 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ p.s. While I’m big smiles in the photo above, this is from the night that Debbie took over, I drank too much, and tried to push down her fears. I felt a lot of shame about my behavior the next day. It invited me to look closer at the pattern and have a heart-to-heart with Debbie. It feels vulnerable to admit this, though I’m committed to keeping it real on this platform, and being a model for how embracing our cracks and turning toward our edges can lead to healing and growth. 🙏🏼
One of my biggest struggles a decade ago was repressing and numbing my feelings. I was listening to and believing my negative self-talk, I thought my uncomfortable emotions were “getting in the way,” and I didn’t know how to navigate my inner world. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When an uncomfortable emotion arose, I would make myself wrong and jump into a story about how I shouldn’t be feeling that way. I didn’t know how to see my feelings as signals, and that self-judgment would spiral into numbing with food and alcohol and unhealthy decisions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When I later discovered that emotions move through our system in about 6 to 90 seconds—but the story we tell ourselves is what sticks—my mind was literally blown. 🤯 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I realized I was not my thoughts and feelings, and I could begin to rewrite my inner scripts by paying attention to and inspecting the thoughts that accompanied my emotions. “I shouldn’t feel this way” led to shame. “I’m unsafe” led to fear. “This is getting in the way” led to self-judgement. “This feeling will never go away” led to anxiety. “I can’t handle this” led to overwhelm. And then I’d try to self-soothe with unhealthy behaviors. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ By learning to practice compassionate self-talk—and by treating myself with loving kindness like I would a child having an emotional experience—I began to feel safe, find my center, and learn how to meet my needs in healthier ways. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Here are five examples of things you can tell yourself when you’re feeling all the feels 🌊 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ P.s. what self-talk or practices help you navigate your emotional currents? I’d love to hear 👇🏼
Helllllo, September. I love this month. After Labor Day always feels like a new year to me. The playfulness of summer has nourished me, the energy of fall sparks my creative flow, and I’m in the final stretch before my birthday (Nov 5!) and the New Year. It’s always the period when I narrow in on my priorities and make my biggest life and biz decisions. And I have a lotttttt in store for you that I’ve been cooking up all summer, soon to be released later this fall. (Eeee. I’m so excited that all my toes are dancing. 💃🏻) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Here’s the reflection I’m checking in on today to set September up to feel good. If you repost to your story with answers, please tag me so I can see and hold space for our collective intentions. 🔮✨
✨ FriYAY Check-in ✨ P.s. tag me if you share so I can see your reflections! 💕
Success for me is about so much more than reaching an outcome. It’s about the journey I took to arrive there. What did I learn? Who did I become? How did the experience grow and awaken me? “Winning,” for me, is expanding as a human. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When my book published last May and I crossed that important finish line, while it delighted me that my book was now in bookstores, I felt so much more in awe at the woman I had become in the process of writing it. It stretched me in every way I had never imagined or predicted, and invited me to speak my truth in ways I didn’t know I was ready for. The experience thrusted me into a journey of “coming alive.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As you set goals and make plans, I invite you to consider: who do I want to become in this journey, and how do I want to feel? ✨ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 📖 This is Page 97 of my book, Choose Wonder Over Worry. Grab your copy at the link in my bio 👉🏼 @heyamberrae + swipe right for a gorg book photo captured by @masha.photo #choosewonder
Hellllo, Monday. When I notice myself say, “I don’t have enough time to do that,” or “I’m so busy,” what I’m actually saying is “I don’t know what’s important right now.” (Who can relate?! 🤷🏻‍♀️) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Here are a few questions I ask to check-in and realign: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 🔸 What is my #1 priority right now? 🔸 Is there anywhere I’m saying “yes” right now when I really want to say “no”? Why? 🔸 Is there anything I’m saying “yes” to that I DO want, but isn’t serving me or my goals right now?⠀ 🔸 How much of my energy is directed toward things that feel like a burden or obligation? How can I make them feel like less of a burden and/or how I can do them less? 🔸 In terms of where I’m investing my time right now, what brings me the most fulfillment and joy? How can I do more of that? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As Anne Dillard says, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Let’s invest wisely. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ (Art collab with @melanieisspicy)
Whenever I find myself feeling stuck or in a state of resistance, I ask myself this question: What do I need to give myself permission to do right now? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sometimes it’s because I said “yes” when it’s now a “no” and I need to give myself permission to change my mind. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sometimes I want clarity and don’t know the answer yet, and I need to give myself permission to surrender to the questions and embrace the discomfort of uncertainty. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Sometimes, when I’m avoiding writing a piece, it’s because I need to give myself permission to be messy and not know where the story is going yet. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sometimes, when I’m pissed off and angry and making myself wrong for it, I need to give myself permission to stomp around and throw a pillow. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sometimes, when I’m feeling the feels and I want to get back into a productive flow, I need to give myself permission to cry. Or pause. Or value myself when I’m being just as much as when I’m doing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We live in a world that conditions us to ask for permission. What can you give yourself permission to do and say today? 🐆
How do we support those we love when they’re going through a hard time? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It took me many years to learn that I don’t need to solve or fix the situation, or take on their emotions. When someone I love is navigating difficulty, I can offer a listening ear, meet their situation with compassion and empathy, and let them know that I’m here. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Here are some suggestions for what to say—and *not* say—so those closest to us feel seen, heard and loved. ✨ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ P.s. Which script resonates most for you? I’d love to hear 👇🏼
Can I journal with you for a moment? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s always been my dream to turn the insights I’ve gathered and unpacked around the human experience, and share them in a way that moves, supports and guides others. I’d close my eyes and imagine millions of people across the globe honoring their inner emotional world, their truth, their values, and their priorities as a result of the relatable stories and visual teachings I’d share. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The reason I love the world of feelings so much is because no matter where we come from or what experiences have shaped us, what we have in common is our set of emotions and our capacity for awareness. It unites us all, even when the world around us feels divisive. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ It’s also the area of life I’ve been challenged by the most: navigating my own emotions, especially when my life once felt like Marie Kondo on the outside but Fyre festival on the inside. 😂 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In was in January of this year that I began to take many of the topics I had written about online for a decade (emotional wellness, vulnerability, creativity, my personal ups & downs, etc.) and express them visually. Instagram challenged me to think differently about content, and make complex and invisible themes simple, relatable and digestible. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As of today, 200K of you have chosen to be part of this world, and I’m both astounded and grateful. Thank you for being here. 🥰 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ For years, I feared being seen and putting my voice out there, and now I get why. As @steven_pressfield so poignantly said, “The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ So here’s to facing resistance—and all the feels that emerge along the way—as we listen to and honor the call from within. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I see you. I love you. I believe in you. Let’s go! ❤️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ P.s. thanks to hubby @farhadini for capturing this photo and being there through IT ALL. 😘